I Have The Touch
by Cookirini
Summary: Usagi's a little mad. Her mom has taken away a manga she wants to read, depriving her of a story she so badly wanted to see. But Usagi gets the chance to be in the story in her dreams....or are they her dreams? Complete.


It was almost another normal night at the Tsukino residence.  
"Usagi, time for bed!"  
  
Ikuko Tsukino, the matriarch of the household, and at that moment the only parent at home, padded up the stairs in her normal apron attire and slippers. It was definitely time, she knew, to put the girl to bed. The time was well past 10:00, and it was a school night on top of it. However, Ikuko knew that her daughter and her guest were probably not even near the bed; it was their incessant giggling that brought her back upstairs to correct this.  
  
"…Mmm?" The sound of giggling and chewing, followed by gasping, indicated that they sensed her approach. "Oh no! Chibi! Hide this!!!"  
"…..Usagi…."  
  
Ikuko opened the door to her daughter's room, a sigh emanating from her. Again, Usagi's room was completely destroyed, mere hours after she had cleaned it. What was worse, there were cookie crumbs everywhere, and books lay almost haphazardly on the floor around the bed.  
  
"All right." Two heads – one blonde, one pink – popped up at the sound of Ikuko's voice. "Its time for bed. Both of you."  
"Aww!" A cookie hung from Usagi's mouth as she whimpered.   
"Now."  
"But Ikuko-mama," Chibi-Usa looked at Ikuko with pleading eyes and a crumb-plastered mouth. In her hand was a book. "We're right in the middle of reading this great manga called 'Shrine of the Dead Monks of Tallahassee' by New Age! Its got this guy who literally falls into a tourist trap in eastern Florida in the US, and there're ghostly prostitutes and….well, dead monks, but they're fro-"  
"Chibi-Usa!!" Usagi's eyes widened. "Why you…"  
"Both of you." Before either could do anything, Ikuko was looking down onto the panels of the comic with some disgust. "You're not reading 'B-Side Manga', are you?"  
  
Usagi gave Chibi-Usa a glare at this. She had secretly bought it on the way home from school that way, and had hidden it in her school pack specifically so that her mother would not see it. After all, 'B-Side' was a new, popular magazine that showcased a variety of horror and fantasy _manga_ from up-and-coming _mangaka_, and no self-respecting teenager could go to school without knowing the latest campy stories from all of the new artists.   
  
On the other hand, no self-respecting adult could allow their kids to view it, as the content in the magazine, according to one local newspaper, "rivaled _Neon Genesis Envangelion_ in pure violent content and all-out apocalyptic rhetoric – without the plot'. Usagi also knew better herself; she had sworn to her parents that she would never buy the magazine, or any story that may have come from it.  
  
"Hand it over, please."  
  
With a resigned huff, Usagi reluctantly closed the book and handed it to her mother. Nodding, Ikuko snatched it out of her hands and rolled it up, placing it into her apron.  
  
"Your father will know of this when he gets home." Ikuko walked out. "Now, its time for sleep. Tomorrow's a big day. _And_ you will clean this room."  
"Gaaah…"  
  
Usagi was still glaring at Chibi-Usa when the lights went out. She continued to glare as the girl went under the covers, turning away from Usagi as she did.  
  
"Usagi…"  
"Traitor."  
"Stop looking at me like that!"  
"You promised you'd say nothing!"  
"I'm sorry, I got scared that she would yell."  
"….Uh huh." Usagi muttered as she turned over as well. "Goodnight, traitor. Now we're both in trouble."  
"Night to you too, Usagi…."  
"Oh, I'm sure…."  
"….Zzzzz……"  
"Jerk."  
  
And so the two went to bed. Usagi, however, could not get her mind off of the _manga_. It caused her to become fitful as she drifted to sleep. There was one story in particular she had wanted to read; it was called 'The Medallion', by a female American comic writer. She only managed to get the summary – according to that, it was a swords and sorcery comic about a fairy and a curse – and it was just after 'The Temple of the Dead Monks'. Sadly, she realized she would never read it, and it drove her crazy to try to figure out what the story was about.  
  
  
As her mind drifted off, as her thoughts succumbed to sleep, the thought of the manga still persisted……and then, she began to dream……  
  


I Have the Touch 

  
A Songfic by Cookirini  
_(Brought to you by the writer of 'The Temple of the Dead Monks of Tallahassee :p)_

  
  
"**_….lo……..Hellooooooo….._**"  
  
One of Usagi's eyes darted open at this. It looked around nervously, pondering the origin of the voice. After a moment of nothing, however, the eye slowly started to close.  
  
"**_YO! BUCKAROO!_**"  
"GAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
This time, Usagi flew up to the ceiling, hitting her head as she did. She landed on the bed butt-first, her eyes bugging out venomously. Her head twitched as she looked around the bedroom.  
  
"Chibi-Usa…..?"  
"**_YO!_**"  
  
Usagi's head swept towards the source of the voice, and she almost gave a shout of surprise. In front of her was her closet door, and it was glowing gold.  
  
"Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-"  
"**_Yes!!_**" A Cockneyed-accented, almost drunk sounding voice arose from the door. "**_You with the softballs on yah head! I'm talkin' to you now._**"  
"Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-WHAT?!?!?!"  
"**_Oh, _cripes.**" The voice gave a huff. "**_Makes it like she's never seen anything with the least bit of enchantment, here. Who was I talking to now? Oh, not Sailor Moon…..just some stuttering girl with softballs on her head._**"  
"They're _meatballs!_" Usagi let it slip before she realized what she was saying. "Uh….I mean…NO!"  
"**_Meatballs, eh? Sound yummy….and what do you mean 'no'?_**"  
"….This is real hair, I mean! Not meatballs!"  
"**_Oh, you're sure?_**"  
"YES!"  
"**_Oh, now we're so _confident_ in ourselves! So your hair's real._**"  
"..Yes……wait…" Usagi found her original train of thought. "What the…..why are you _talking_?!"  
"**_Oh….yah don't like me?_**" The door sounded insulted. "**_Well, don't expect me to talk to _you_ again, eh?_**"  
"No no….I mean….." Usagi had to think quickly. "I mean…..why are you talking to me?"  
"**_Hmph._**"  
"Look…I don't mean it meanly…." Usagi felt very strange with this. "I was just wondering….because I never met a talking door, that's all. And….well…" Usagi hesitated. "Specifically not one that sounded……uh…..well…."  
"**_Oh, if _that's_ what you mean…..I forgive you then._**" The door's voice gave a sigh. "**_Yes, I'm a very unique talking door if I may say so myself. I've been told that I actually sound like Eddie Izzard. Yeah. Yah know him, right?_**"  
"Uh….." Usagi looked confused. "Actually…"  
"**_You don't know who he is, do you?!_**" The door huffed. "**_Well, next time I show up in a story I'm not going to be in any with _this_ person, no siree!_**"  
"….Wha?"  
"**_Um, never mind….uh…_**" The door cleared its throat. "**_Actually, I am here to get your help. I need it because….you wish to know what happens in 'The Medallion', yes?_**"  
"….Yeah!" Usagi suddenly remembered. "Yeah! My mom took my copy of 'B-Side Manga' before I could get a chance to read it!"  
"**_Ah, yes. Well…._**" The door suddenly opened. "**_I can give you a chance to find out._**"  
  
A gust of wind filled the room, and a great white light burst from the door, engulfing the room and everything in it.  
  
"WOW!!" Usagi gasped as she floated, enveloped in white.   
"**_Well?_**" The door's voice echoed through the light. "**_What do yah say-_**"  
"_Thank_ you!!!!"  
"**_Uh….._**" The white began to dissipate. "**_Ok, not quite what I was looking for, but I'll take that as a YES!_**"  
  
Another gust of wind, and Usagi suddenly found herself falling from the sky, towards a swimming sea of pine and grass greens. What was worse was that she was naked doing this. She gave a scream and covered her eyes.  
  
"AIIIIIIIIIE!!!!"  
"**_Oh! Nice breasts….._**" The voice then gave a chuckle. "**_I….uh….I mean….oops! I should probably give yah the _proper_ attire now, shouldn't I…_**"  
  
At this, she felt another gust of wind engulf her; the next instant, she felt clothed, and her fast descent started to stop. She opened her eyes, and began to gasp.  
  
"Oh……WOW!!!!"  
  
She gave a giggle as she stood up. She was no longer naked, or dressed in her pajamas. She was dressed in stranger attire.   
  
"I look so WEIRD!!!!"  
  
A star-shaped piece of a strange, light, green-colored fabric covered her top; one of the star points was all that covered her breasts. This was held up by another point of the star, which served as a strap; the star itself was fastened together by pearls. There was also a very loose pearl belt that held up a sarong-cut brown dress, though her black thong still somehow showed. She also wore brown leg warmers under her knees, leg girdles, star-shaped earrings, and small necklace. She laughed again, finding that she had long brown hair in braids, and elf ears.  
  
"I can FLY!!!!!! How awesome!" She felt wings on her back, and with these she flew gracefully to the ground. "And…."  
  
She looked down. Around her neck was a necklace with a small golden medallion. On it were many inscriptions that Usagi could not translate.  
  
"The medallion……OH!!! Is this the fairy? I get to be the fairy!?"  
"**_Not just any fairy…_**" The voice announced as the door appeared next to her. "**_And you are not gay, either. No, you are Cynthia, lovely fairy keeper, loved by all men who approach, of the Sangarus Fields, home of the most delicious walnuts in the world._**"  
"…Walnuts?"  
"**_Yes, unfortunately._**" The door gave a sigh. In the distance, music could be heard. "**_You see, you hate walnuts. But one day, everything you touched turned to walnuts, and you found you were cursed to turn everything into walnuts. And…._**" This next part came fast. "**_Periodically you hallucinate that you see ice cream sundaes with fudge and noodles fly towards you in a cheesy 3D movie-type fashion,_**"  
"Huh??"  
"**_Um, forget that….oh, my!_**" Suddenly, the music became louder. "**_I hear music! It must be the theme song of this story!_**"  
"This story has a _theme song?!_"  
"**_Yes indeed, it does!_**"  
"How?!" Usagi scratched her head. "I didn't know comics had theme songs."  
"**This_ one does. Lets see which one it is, shall we…?_**"  
  
Usagi strained to hear through the warbling effects of the beginning….  
  
  
_The time I like is the rush hour, cos I like the rush  
The pushing of the people - I like it all so much  
Such a mass of motion - do not know where it goes  
I move with the movement and ... I have the touch_  
  
"….What the hell?" Usagi's eyes widened. "It stopped!"  
"**_Oh! OH!!!_**" The door jumped up and down. "**_Its Peter Gabriel! Boy! Good God, I'm glad this isn't the Heather Nova version…_**" At this, the door made gagging noises. "**_God, I hated that version…I hate Heather Nova for that matter…_**"  
"…_….Who?_"  
"**_You don't know her. Never mind!_**" The door quickly changed the subject. "**_Um, so…..doo doo doo…..where were we?_**"  
"We were talking about the story."  
"**_Story?_**"  
"The STORY!" Usagi gave a huff. "You know, I'm Cynthia, walnut fairy or whatever?"  
"**_Oh! Right right….the story…..oh, oh right!_**" The door turned around. "**_Right, see…._**"  
  
  
_I'm waiting for ignition, I'm looking for a spark_  
  
  
"**_Oh! I remember now!_**" The door laughed as it hopped over to a cave. "**_Yes…..you are walking along, languishing in your hate of walnuts and your curse…and you find a cave._**" The door motioned to the opening. "**_You feel compelled to enter…_**"  
"……..I do?" Usagi suddenly felt a tinge of fear.  
"**_Do you want to find out what happens or not?_**"  
  
Slowly, surely, Usagi began to descend into the cave, the cave becoming darker and darker the further she went in. Finally, she was inside the very darkest reaches of the cave.  
  
"…..OW!!!!"  
  
  
_Any chance collision and I light up in the dark_  
  
  
The spark of flames that suddenly lit the cave took her off for a moment; her eyesight became blurry for several moments. Then, she focused, and her mouth immediately dropped.  
  
"Uh……..uh……..ip?"  
  
  
_There you stand before me, all that fur and all that hair_  
  
  
The dragon stood up before her; it was a truly terrifying sight. He was golden all over, his scales seeming to light up upon fire in the dim flames coming from his nostrils. He gave a glare to Usagi as she quivered.  
  
"What do _you_ want?"  
  
  
_Oh, do I dare ... I have the touch_  
  
  
"Um….BYE!!!!"  
  
The instant Usagi started to fly away, she knew she had done the wrong thing. The dragon ran after her, snarling.  
  
"HEY!" The dragon growled. "That's not nice of you to just come to my house and then up on me like that! COME BACK HERE!!!!!!"  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_Wanting contact  
I'm wanting contact  
I'm wanting contact with you_  
  
  
"DON'T EAT ME!!!!!"  
  
Usagi was so frenzied that she passed right by the door. She flew as fast as she could, her wings beating as fast as they could.  
  
"I can get away…..I can escape…." Usagi looked to her side. "What the…?!?!?"  
  
All around her, there were 8-track machines and bottles of Calvin Klein 1 floating in the grass all around her. The sky turned bright pink, and the grass turned orange, before flashing back and forth from its normal colors to the strange new combination. The Peter Gabriel music was interrupted by music that could only be described as that which one would hear in an elevator.  
  
"Gaaaah!!!!" Usagi shook her head. "I must be hallucinating…"  
  
Then the ice cream sundaes with noodles and fudge began to fly at her.   
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_Shake those hands, shake those hands  
Give me the thing I understand_  
  
  
"_Now….._ I'm hallucinating."  
  
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground, dizzy. All around her, walnut buds began to pollinate and flourish. She tried to make the sky stop spinning around her, but this took a good several minutes.  
  
"Uuuugh……"  
"**_Oh! There you are!_**" The door and the dragon suddenly stood over her. "**_I see you had one of those obligatory hallucinations. But I say, did yah save me a cone?_**"  
"Guh…."  
"**_Sincerely, though._**" The door motioned towards the dragon. "**_He's sorry about back there._**"  
"Indeed." The dragon laughed. "I've been chasing lots of fairies out of my lair, but I didn't know you were _THE_ fairy! See, I just have this thing with people being rude and just entering my cave, especially if they don't bring me Girl Scout Cookies."  
"….Cookies…?"  
"Oh, there used to be a bunch of girls who'd come around and offer them." The dragon lay on his back in a reminiscent sort of way. "I especially love Samoas, especially when I used my breath to fry them. I'd buy boxes and boxes! I had the money; what dragon doesn't? I'm practically loaded."  
"**_But….._**" The door gave a hop. "**_Let me guess….yah ate through them very quickly, right?_**"  
"Well, I'd eat a box a month. I was on a diet, see." The dragon huffed. "But silly me, I thought that Samoas were made from real Girl Scouts and that they bled coconut extract. Ooh, was _I_ wrong." The dragon started to whimper at this. "And since then, no Girl Scouts come to my house. It doesn't help that I practically ate the only Girl Scout troop in the entire story!"  
"**_How sad!_**" The door sounded on the verge of tears.  
"Indeed, and I hate the things that fly around here – I mean, you never know what you'll see just floating around. Heck, I once ate an entire piece of styrofoam with mustard!" The dragon sighed. "The only place I can get those cookies now is from the Girl Scout troop in the 'Temple of the Dead Monks of Tallahassee' _manga_, and since _that_ takes place in Florida….well…..I have this bad peeling and chafing thing…"  
"EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_Shake those hands, shake those hands  
Shake those hands, shake those hands_  
  
  
"That's DISGUSTING!!!"  
"I can't help being a dragon," The dragon shrugged. "Its better than being…..a fairy…..no, that's not right…."  
"**_Well, Mr. Dragon…_**" The door bowed. "**_It was a pleasure knowing you. Have a nice life, or at least what's left of it._**"  
"Huh? 'What's left of it?'" The dragon looked confused. "What do you mean?"

*KER-SM-PAAAAAAAA!!* 

  
  
As if that had been a cue, the dragon's head suddenly ripped off. Foam flew everywhere, splattering in round white tufts everywhere, and sticking to the walnut flowers, which were slowly growing into walnut trees.  
  
"DRAGON!!!!!" Usagi's eyes bulged. "What the…??"  
"**_Oh, drat, I was too late!_**" The door swore. "**_Bloody hell….! I thought I could warn him to duck in time, too._**"  
"Huh…?!?!?"  
  
Usagi looked around. She was no longer in a field; she was in the middle of a forest filled with walnut trees. Through the brush, she could simultaneously three buildings. She could see her house (which was blue), the Eiffel Tower (which was neon purple) and some other building that she knew of, but for some reason couldn't quite pinpoint what it was called or its purpose for existing in the story (which was striped plaid like a kilt).  
  
"Wh-where am I _now_?!?" Usagi shook her head. "I'm not liking this dream."  
"**_Well, some time has elapsed…_**" The door hopped a little. "**_Hum hum hum…..hang on, let me get the plot back to my mind…..ok, you were running from the draagoooon……_**"  
"And then I got hit by a hallucination of noo-of what I normally get…."  
"**_Noo, that wasn't supposed to happen._**" The door protested. "**_You were supposed to fly around, screaming your head off, until your curse caused the whole of the field to turn into a giant forest._**"  
"….What?"  
"**_It's the truth._**"  
"Who the….?!" Usagi became angry. "Who the hell wrote this story?! This entire premise is damn confusing! Its called 'The Medallion', and yet there is nothing about the importance that this medallion around my neck may have!"  
"**_Um…who wrote the story? Some person on drugs, I suppooose_**_…" _The door swing back and forth_. "**Or….doing something that is the equivalent of drugs. Ho! What happens next, let me think…**"  
_"UGH!" Usagi slapped her head. "This is getting worse by the minute…"_  
"**OH! Right!**" _The door laughed_. "**You weren't supposed to hallucinate until now.**"  
_"What-"  
  
And indeed, the moment the words left the door's mouth, she began to see the ice cream again, flying towards her. She gave a cry, shutting her eyes to try to get the sickening vision out of her head._  
  
_"ARRRRRRRRGH!!!"_  
"**Ah, yes…..**" _The door managed to snag a cone this time_. "**Don't you wish you had 3D glasses? Then the effect would be SPECTACULAR!**"  
_"NO!" Usagi screamed. "I DON'T!!!!"  
"Hey! Shut up over there!!"   
  
Another voice suddenly came into Usagi's ears. She turned, only to feast her eyes upon nothing less than a troll in a dark robe. In his hands, he held a Big Mac and a Micro Machine.  
  
"Hey! Broad!" Usagi's eyes widened. "Could you shut yer trap for a moment? I'm a little busy here trying to get my Micro Machine Car Wash to work!"  
_  
  
Any social occasion, it's hello, how do you do  
All those introductions, I never miss my cue  
  
  
_"What the…..A TROLL!!!!"  
"Nice to meet you too." The troll looked behind her. "Say…..you're a fairy!"_  
"**Yes, Mr. Troll. She is a fairy.**"  
_"Not Mr. Troll….." As he spoke, the trees turned into visages of chocolate chip cookies. "Mr. Tibbs."  
  
  
_Any social occasion, it's hello, how do you do  
All those introductions, I never miss my cue_  
  
  
"What the…..A TROLL!!!!"  
"Nice to meet you too." The troll looked behind her. "Say…..you're a fairy!"  
"**_Yes, Mr. Troll. She is a fairy._**"  
"Not Mr. Troll….." As he spoke, the trees turned into visages of mint cookies. "Mr. Tibbs."  
  
  
_Any social occasion, it's hello, how do you do  
All those introductions, I never miss my cue_  
  
  
"What the…..A TROLL!!!!"  
"Nice to meet you too." The troll looked behind her. "Say…..you're a fairy!"  
"**_Yes, Mr. Troll. She is a fairy._**"  
"Not Mr. Troll….." As he spoke, the trees turned into visages of macadamia nut cookies. "Mr. Tibbs."  
  
  
_Any social occasion, it's hello, how do you do  
All those introductions, I never miss my cue_  
  
  
"What the…..A TROLL!!!!"  
"Nice to meet you too." The troll looked behind her. "Say…..you're a fairy!"  
"**_Yes, Mr. Troll. She is a fairy._**"  
"Not Mr. Troll….."   
"Hang on a minute!" Usagi shook her head. "Didn't we just _say_ all of this?"  
"I beg yer pardon?" The troll's eyebrow raised.  
"We _did_!" The trees turned into visages of spaghetti and meatballs. "What's going on? We keep repeating ourselves all of a sudden!"  
"**_…Oh dear…._**" The door looked around frantically. "**_It must be the soundtrack again!_**"  
"What?!?"  
"Yup." The troll shook his head in disgrace. "I can hear a .78 vinyl when I hear it. The record's starting to repeat itself!"  
"**_GAH!!!_**" The door suddenly disappeared, leaving only a disembodied voice. "**_This is why I HATE these stories that don't include state of the art sound equipment!_**"  
"…Now that you mention it.." Usagi scratched her chin. "It _has_ been sounding phonographic here…"  
  
From above them came the sounds of a record and a phonograph needle being taken off of a turntable. Then, the needle was put back on, and the record resumed playing.  
  
"Much better!" The troll looked at Usagi. "Where were we?"  
"Mr. Tibbs."  
"Right." The troll suddenly looked at her with an evil glare. "Which must mean you are Cynthia."  
"…..Yes….." The feeling of fear came back to Usagi. "Um-"  
"PERFECT!!!!!!"  
  
  
_So before a question, so before a doubt  
My hand moves out and ... _  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_I have the touch_  
  
  
The next thing Usagi knew, the troll had her on his back, and was dragging her off. Screaming, she smacked the troll hard in the back, but to no avail.  
  
  
"Let….me……GO!!!!!!!!!"  
"NO!!!!"  
  
  
_Wanting contact  
I'm wanting contact  
I'm wanting contact with you_  
  
  
"YES!!!"  
"No!" The troll's tone was decisive. "I'm taking you back with me, and I'm going to use you and your magic medallion to my great advantage!"  
"My…" Usagi realized. "Oh. NOW we use it!"  
"Indeed, princess." The troll giggled evilly. "You and your medallion will work very well for us indeed…"  
"NEVER! Let me go!!!!!" Usagi screamed. "Door, come back, help me!!!!!"  
  
Usagi struggled for several moments to free herself; she kept screaming for the door to return. However, there was no avail on either situation.  
  
"Let….let me go…." She began to cry. "_Please_…I don't want to be a part of your plans! DOOR!!! HELP!!!!!"  
"That thing won't help you." The troll laughed even more evilly. "Why, you think he's really that stupid? I'm know better! That dragon could've saved you, but you ran off and the door delayed him."  
"….What….?"  
  
  
_Shake those hands, shake those hands  
Give me the thing I understand  
Shake those hands, shake those hands_  
  
  
Some realization began to seep into Usagi's brain as the walnut trees began to converge, began to transform into a wooden plated stone fortress, complete with a dark entrance room and a blazing bonfire. The transforming trees ripped at Usagi's clothing, but she didn't care.  
  
"You….." She became angry. "This…..this was never the story from the _manga_ at all, was it?!"  
"Aww, toots figured it out!" The troll laughed. "Come on, let Mr. Tibbs tie you down here!"  
  
Usagi struggled again, but it was no use. She was almost instantly bound to a stone slab by the troll. After she was bound completely, the troll examined her and gave several nods, pacing and doing various things as he did so.  
  
  
_Pull my chin, stroke my hair, scratch my nose, hug my knees  
Try drink, food, cigarette, tension will not ease  
I tap my fingers, fold my arms, breathe in deep, cross my legs  
Shrug my shoulders, stretch my back - but nothing seems   
to please_  
  
  
"Yes, yes…." Usagi felt completely helpless. "Who'd have thought, we could control you through your dreams? Your such a sucker, Sailor Moon!"  
"….I'm such an idiot….."  
"And the best part….that medallion." The troll laughed evilly. "That is this place's equivalent of your Silver Crystal! So all I need to do….is take it from you!"  
"….I am sooo dead……"  
  
Usagi struggled some more, but she knew, from the fact that she could not break free, and that the troll was already upon her, that she had no escape. She was trapped. Completely trapped.  
  
  
_I need contact_  
  
  
**_*PFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!*_**  
  
  
It caught them both off guard. The strange whizzing sound through the air, a sound so familiar to Usagi, repeating itself several times, as it would sometimes. The final time, the troll jumped back, screaming.  
  
"OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_I need contact_  
  
  
Usagi's eyes widened at the troll. His hand was bleeding from a cut. The weapon that was used was still embedded into the troll's hand.  
  
  
_Nothing seems to please_  
  
  
"Dammit!!!!!" The troll growled. "The hell?!?!? This is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!"  
  
It was a rose.  
  
  
_I need contact_  
  
  
The music stopped; the scene around her began to warp wildly until everything was gone. Nothing was left except for a dark gray haze, and the slab that Usagi had been tied down on. Even then, she was no longer tied down; four roses suddenly stabbed into the binds, shattering them.  
  
"Its……"  
  
His shadowed silhouette came through the haze; cape, hat and all. Soon, he was next to Usagi, helping her up.  
  
"I…" Usagi was stunned. "T-tuxedo Mask….?"  
"Usako." He looked into her eyes. "It's a trap."  
"YOU!!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, the area warped again, and this time, they were inside the Hikawa Shrine. But it was a strange, hazy version of the one that Usagi knew. The only thing that lit the room was a small fire, similar to one Rei used to premonition events.  
  
"What are you doing?!?" The troll growled. "Get out of here! This isn't your dream!"  
"No…" Tuxedo Mask took out another rose, pointing towards his side. "It's a nightmare."  
  
Usagi gasped at what he pointed at. In a corner of the room was Mamoru, laying on a straw mat, sleeping. Over him was Rei, waving a ward over his head and reciting an incantation.  
  
"Huh?!?" Usagi's eyes widened. "Mamo-chan, this is…!"  
"What we are seeing at the moment is the world…._our_ world, when I fell asleep." Tuxedo Mask turned back towards the troll as the scenery changed back to the fortress. "What you've been in for the past several hours is really a dream….but not one you've been in control of. Its one created by these _kistune_ demons to lure you into a trap to take your mind!"  
"_Kitsune_?!"  
"Fool…." The troll's shape began to change. "You're so intelligent, aren't you?"  
  
The troll suddenly transformed in a flash. When the light disappeared, there stood a very beautiful, curvaceous woman, with green hair and a long brown dress.   
  
"You and your friends sensed her danger and used your power transport your dream conscious into her dream. How touching." Several fox tails wiggled behind the new creature. "But you make a mistake. If you accidentally get stuck here, your mind is trapped here forever!"  
"That's why I don't intend to make mistakes!"  
  
Before Usagi could protest, Tuxedo Mask was on the _kitsune_. A large cane mark appeared on her face.  
  
"Har har."  
  
Suddenly, Tuxedo Mask was slammed to the wall. With a gasp of pain, he slumped to the floor.  
  
"Tuxedo Mask!!!!!"  
"_Gently there, cousin!_" Another, deeper voice filled the room. "_I want fun too._"  
  
Usagi gasped as the door appeared, only to shift into another _kitsune_ woman. She was more beautiful than the one the troll had turned into, and had several more tails than her cousin.  
  
"Cora!" The younger _kitsune_ pouted. "I want to have fun! I want to impale him on a stick or something!"  
"…..This is why you're always the disgusting creatures in our forays, Marina." The older _kitsune_ turned to Usagi, a fanged smiled on her face. "Oh, why, hello! Remember me?"  
"….You…." Usagi braced herself for battle, grabbing the medallion from her neck. "You won't get away with this!"  
"We already have." Marina's smile seemed more vicious by the moment. "All we had to do is take advantage of your pithily, empty little desire to find out what happened in that story. Now, we have complete control of your dreams."  
  
At that, the hallucination of the ice cream sundaes with noodles and fudge suddenly came back. It was not so much that the idea frightened her, but it was the randomness from which it had come from that threw Usagi off, and she staggered back.  
  
"Usako!" Tuxedo Mask shouted. "They're lying! They only have control if you _let_ them…."  
"We could do worse, you know…" Suddenly, Tuxedo Mask's voice was muted by Cora. "We can make you see so much worse. That is, if you don't give us that medallion _right now_."  
"….N….no!" Usagi shouted dizzily. "N-never…..I wont give y-you the medallion!!"  
"Very well."  
  
The visions suddenly became worse. The ice cream turned into acid; the noodles turned into knives. Usagi screamed as everything hit her. She could no longer see Tuxedo Mask, much less hear him.  
  
"Give it to us!!" Usagi started to cry as she fell to her knees. "We don't want you to die. That would be a shame."  
"…….Ow….."  
"Besides," Cora grinned. "You and your crystal are no use to us if you're dead! Hahahaha!"  
"….My crystal….."  
  
_So selfish…._ Usagi thought as she slowly stood up. _….I can't believe….I was so absorbed in what _I_ wanted that I never saw the enemy take advantage of my stupid desire to have the 'B-Side Manga'…..But now, because of my stupid desire…Tuxedo Mask is putting his life on the line for me, and I can't fight._  
  
"Yeah." Marina smiled. "Give us your crystal, and we'll let you live. And we'll consider letting your friend here live as well, even though he crashed our plans."  
  
_I can't…..  
  
  
"Usako!" Tuxedo Mask shouted. "They're lying! They only have control if you let them…."  
  
  
If I let them….but……but I have let them…._ Usagi looked down at the medallion. _……Haven't I….?_  
  
"Give us the medallion!" Cora growled. "Come on! We want the power of your crystal that is manifested in it!"  
"Patience, Cora." Marina smiled. "We'll just do some more stuff to her, and she'll cave in."  
  
_No._ Usagi grasped the medallion. _No, I still have control. And I think I can get them where it hurts._  
  
"Aww, come on…." Cora whined.  
"Stop it! We won't look as serious if you do that!"  
"You want the power of my crystal?"  
  
The two _kitsunes_ turned towards Usagi. She held the medallion in her hands, and she had a smile on her face.  
  
"The medallion!" They both shouted.  
"……Ah well." Usagi turned. "I'd have liked to have seen what else you had planned for me…."  
  
Suddenly, Usagi threw her hand back, readying herself for the pitch. The eyes of the two kitsunes widened to the point where they bulged.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!"  
"….But I guess it's a sacrifice I'll have to make!"  
  
The _kitsunes_ jumped to try to stop her, but it was too late. Usagi's throw had the medallion sailing right into the bonfire inside the fortress. It simmered for a moment, then exploded in a shower of color.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" The two _kitsunes_ screamed.  
"I won't let you take me dreams away!" Usagi shouted. "Even if it means I have to destroy my powers within my dream world to prevent you! Get out!"  
  
As she spoke, everything suddenly disappeared – the bonfire, the medallion, the fortress, even the two _kitsunes_. Though their angry screams still permeated through Usagi's dream world. Those, however, transformed into the sounds of the end of Handel's "Messiah" overture, only to slowly return to its normal broadcast of no vocal elevator music. The selection, it seemed to Usagi, was one from the Inu-yasha television show. Above her, computer mice floated lazily by.  
  
"Wow!" Usagi turned to Tuxedo Mask she was back in her pajamas. "I did it! I beat them, just by sacrificing my powers in the dream world! I didn't think that was so easy!"  
"Indeed." Tuxedo Mask looked down. "But now, I think, is the hard part."  
"….Eh?"  
  
Usagi looked down, then looked back up at Tuxedo Mask, then back down again, her eyes bulging. After all, there was nothing below them for several thousand feet to stop them from falling into a rainforest of tropical rice patties and black pineapples. They had gone off the cliff.  
  
"Eheheh…." Usagi looked sheepishly towards Tuxedo Mask, who was now a Russian dictionary "I, um, guess I need to think of something fast, don't I?"  
"Usagi…." Mamoru shook his head "Fghio ijajk isiwi jjjjshsh kooooo…."  
"Hah?" They started to fall.  
"I _said_, Fgh ijajk isiwi jjjjshsh kooooo!"  
"WHAT?!?!?" They were starting to fall faster. Usagi could feel the wind blowing through her ears. "I can't understand you!!!"  
"I SAID **USAGI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE CLOSET?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?**"  
  
Usagi's eyes bolted open. The falling instantly stopped. The cookies, the pineapples, the rice, the dictionaries and Mamoru vanished in the blink of an eye. All of them replaced by the angry glare of red eyes.  
  
"YAEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!"  
"What are you DOING?!?!?!?" Chibi-Usa hissed and glared at Usagi, flashing a light onto her. "I go to sleep, and the next thing I know, you're making noises in the closet! Do you want us to get in more trouble?!?!?"  
  
Usagi blinked. She was in her room – in her closet – and it was nighttime. Everything was just as it had been before she fell asleep.  
  
"Wha…..I…" she poked herself. "Oh! Success! I'm awake! I'm back! Yaay!"  
"….Usagi…"  
"I was so stupid. I forgot to give Mamo-chan and I a safe landing after I defeated the _kitsunes_ that had invaded my dreams!" Usagi giggled nervously. "Thank goodness you woke me up. We would have been pancakes on the floor if you hadn't!"  
"Usagi…." Chibi-Usa gave her another glare. "_This_ is why I stopped eating cookies before I went to bed. Now come on! Its time for bed!"  
"…..You don't believe me, do you…."  
"BED!"  
"Ok!"  
  
Usagi gave a mumble and a grumble as she hobbled towards the bed. For several minutes, she found she was unable to get back to sleep; she gave a moan.   
  
_Sleep……Let me sleep….._  
  
Finally, as the light of the high moon crept onto the bed, she felt her eyes droop slowly. Her body became limp, and her breathing became slower and steadier. Three minutes later, she was adrift in a deep sleep, in her dreams. _Her_ dreams.  
  
  
----------------------  
  
  
Once Usagi was finally asleep, from the closet came a golden glow. An angry, Cockey-accented, drunk sounding voice, sounding similar to that of Eddie Izzard's, gave a huff.  
  
"**_We'd have had her if it wasn't for that pesky, meddling Mamoru fella!_**"  
  
Then, it was silent, and the two _kitsune_ girls crept out of the closet towards the window.  
  
"I swear, we need to find someone who's doesn't have a soul mate, Marina….or any friends for that matter." The younger one opened the window. "What are we now, twenty five to three?"  
"Shut up." The elder one grit her teeth. "If _you_ hadn't come up with such an idiotic dream…"  
"Oh, I'm not just whiny, I'm idiotic now?!?"  
  
And so the conversation went on as the two disappeared out of the window, they argued incessantly until they vanished from the Tokyo skyline, flying north to their place of domicile to plot the lives of more souls. But they knew better than to mess with Usagi again.  
  
"**HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!**"  
  
As the _kitsunes_ mumbled, Usagi gave a gasp of delight as a four tier cake with seventeen candles was suddenly brought to her. She sat at a table in the Ritz, dressed in Chanel with her gold hair back. All around her were presents, and more strangely, her friends.  
  
"Sorry were crashing your dream again." The girls – all of them, even the Starlights - looked sheepishly at each other. "But we figured you wouldn't get anything _this_ good in real life."  
"Oh, wow!!" Usagi smiled with glee. "A birthday party in Paris! Thanks, guys!!"  
  
Without another word, she dug into the cake, taking a huge piece and eating it almost instantly. The other girls looked at each other sheepishly, but couldn't help but smile at Usagi as she came back up, her face smeared with chocolate.  
  
"Chocolate mousse and vanilla icing. Now _THIS_," Usagi grinned. "_THIS_ is the stuff _my_dreams are made of!!!!"  
  


THE END 

  
  
**_Happy Birthday, Usagi!_**


End file.
